


Where We Stand

by wefellasangels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:46:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4183839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wefellasangels/pseuds/wefellasangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Heaven is restored, Castiel and Gadreel struggle with their growing feelings for one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where We Stand

**Author's Note:**

> requested by @narrylouisziam on tumblr

Castiel plunges the angel blade right into the angel’s heart and it dies within an explosion of light. Behind him, Gadreel has his hand on another angel’s forehead, light radiating from where their skin makes contact. A second later, the angel hits the ground.

“Nice work, Gadreel,” Castiel compliments. Gadreel nods his head in thanks. Then his expression changes to fear.

“Brother, look out!”

Castiel turns around quickly and launches the blade into his attacker’s stomach. Another burst of light and the angel falls. Castiel wipes the blade on his coat while Gadreel walks over to get a closer look at the dead angel’s face.

“It appears Metatron still has supporters acting in his name,” Gadreel suggests.

“It would…seem that way,” Castiel agrees. “We should return to Heaven in the meantime…figure out what to do next.”

Gadreel nods in agreement. The two angels leave the abandoned warehouse and head for the car parked outside the building. They get in, Castiel behind the wheel.

“Castiel,” Gadreel begins once they’re on the road. “Now that Metatron is no longer in command of Heaven, have you considered taking his place?”   

Castiel sighs. “I don’t want to rule Heaven, Gadreel. I don’t want to… _lead_ anyone. I just want to be an angel.”

“But you _are_ an excellent leader, Castiel. If anyone should be in charge of our home, it is you. And you would not have to do so alone. There are several others willing to stand by you…and I am one of them.”

Castiel takes his eyes off the road briefly to give Gadreel a small smile. “That is very kind of you. But it’s not what I want. What I’m doing now – fixing Heaven, restoring the peace – it’s temporary.”

“What will you do when it is all done?”

“Probably remain on Earth and help Sam Winchester. Now that Dean is…is gone, Sam, uh…he will probably require some form of assistance.”

Gadreel just nods, sensing that the conversation is over. The rest of the drive is silent. Even when they finally reach the playground in Lebanon, Kansas, no words are exchanged. Castiel draws the key in the sandbox and the gate to Heaven is open.

Castiel and Gadreel share a brief but meaningful look and go home.

 

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

 

“Because seven _eight_ nine.”

“I still do not understand.”

“It’s a play on words. The number eight and the past tense verb of eat – _ate_.”

“I see. And this is supposed to be humorous?”

“Humans seem to think so.”

Gadreel furrowed his brow, still contemplating humans’ idea of “humor”.

He and Castiel sit back-to-back. Next to them, a pool of water collects the contents of an overhead waterfall. They are in the Heaven of seventeen year old girl who was killed in a car crash. Her Heaven is a perpetual Sunday morning at Yosemite National Park in early summer. The two angels enjoy spending time here together.

After several months of damage control, Castiel had finally done it. Heaven was a stable and smooth-running place again. With Metatron and his followers locked away and Hannah left in charge, Castiel was free to step down from his leadership position. Gadreel, who had worked closely with him as his second-in-command, would remain in Heaven and work alongside Hannah.

But today was a personal day for the pair – a quiet celebration of their accomplishment. As they sat, Castiel had been answering what questions he could about humanity for Gadreel. In the last hour, he had been attempting to explain jokes, and even though Gadreel didn’t understand the humor of most of them, he enjoyed hearing their logic.  

“Castiel,” Gadreel begins, preparing to change the subject. “Are you certain you want to return to Earth?”

Castiel furrows his brow. “Yes, of course. Why?”

“The other angels still dislike me. I have not truly redeemed myself in their eyes. But you – they respect you. If I remain in Heaven alone, I will not be accepted as one of them.”

“I see. Well, Hannah – “

“Still does not trust me,” Gadreel finishes. He turns around to face Castiel, who loses his balance when the support is suddenly gone. Gadreel catches him with a hand before Castiel falls completely.

“Thank you.”

Gadreel nods, keeping his hand on Castiel even after he’s balanced. Now they are facing one another, Gadreel sitting crossed legged and Castiel sitting with one leg tucked underneath him and the other leg folded against his body.

“You understand why I cannot return alone, Castiel?” Gadreel insists. “Why I cannot _be_ alone? Not as before.”

Castiel sees the plea in the angel’s eyes and remembers the last seven months. How they started out as two soldiers fighting for their home, but were now bonded by something stronger than blood. Long stretches of time gone without conversation turned into comfortable silences with soft smiles exchanged. What was once formal and impersonal eye contact became green and blue pools of reflected concern and adoration. Castiel recalls how, over time, the amount of acceptable personal space between them has gradually diminished; accidental brushes of the skin turned into lingering touches.

And now Gadreel stares pleadingly at Castiel, asking him not to leave.

“Castiel…please…”

“Gadreel, I – “

Hand on his shoulder, Gadreel pulls Castiel toward him. Their foreheads meet, their noses touch, and they share the air between them. For a few moments they stay like that: not saying anything, eyes closed, just breathing.

Castiel feels Gadreel tilting his lips toward his and opens his eyes. Gadreel is staring back at him, his green eyes dilated. As Gadreel inches closer, Castiel watches his pupils grow larger and larger until the entirety of Dean’s eyes are black and there is no green to be found.

Castiel pulls back abruptly and stands up.

“Castiel, what is wrong?” Gadreel inquires, rising from the ground.

“Gadreel, I’m sorry. I – I can’t. Dean – “

Castiel looks away from him and stares at the waterfall instead, a slight breeze blowing drops of water into his face. He can feel his…heart, for lack of a better word, being ripped in two directions. In one way, for a human he thought dead but instead turned into a demon – and who could never reciprocate his love. In another way, for an angel who has fought by his side and needed him, but that Castiel could never give himself to fully.

“I think I will return to my own Heaven now.”

Castiel turns back to face him. “Gadreel, I’m sorry – “

“It is alright. I understand,” Gadreel says, masking the pain his voice effectively. “Do what you feel you must. If you change your mind at a later time, you will know where to find me.”

Castiel tries to reply, but his voices catches on a lump of regret. Gadreel walks over and pulls him into a hug, which Castiel returns fiercely. After a minute or so, Gadreel let’s go, keeping his hands on Castiel’s shoulders.

“I will see you soon, Castiel,” Gadreel says, feigning conviction. He presses his lips to Castiel’s forehead and speaks against his skin. “Please – take good care of yourself.”

Gadreel disappears and Castiel is left alone. He sits back down at the edge of the water, legs crossed. Elbows on his thighs, he puts his face in his hands. In anguish, he releases his wings behind him. The wind blows again, more aggressively this time, and water droplets settle on the feathers.

For an angel who was now free in every possible way, Castiel’s soul felt anything but unburdened.


End file.
